• Gaye Burch

Does your child tell you or ask you?

Updated: Mar 27

Does your child tell or ask? I am noticing a trend with children today, telling their parents what they are about to do, instead of asking permission for what they want to do.This habit starts as young as three years old. Often the parent is distracted and might respond, but the responses are sometimes acknowledgments of having heard what their child said, and to your child, this is giving permission. You may be fine with what they are about to do or what they want, but having your child ask, instead of tell, is very important. When your child ask permission and waits for an answer, it teaches them the line of authority God has set up. You are the parent---they are the child.

Some examples:

(These examples are often said with a whine in complete innocence. Your child wants something and without your knowledge you have trained them that this is how to get it.)

They TELL you.....

I'm going outside.

I wanna sit on your lap.

I wanna a drink.

Read me a story.

Push me.(when thy are on a swing or riding toy)

Hold my hand.


Hand me __________.

I want ______________.

I'm getting a snack.

I'm gonna go to ___________house.

I'm gonna play one more round before I.......

Start to notice if you are giving in to their commands without knowing it, or if your child asks permission. Can your child wait for an answer and accept what the answer is?

Most often we parents are so busy, we don't even realize the habits that have formed------It's never too late to change your parenting.